Monday, December 28, 2009


Originally uploaded by msmarivic
How stinking cute are they.


Originally uploaded by msmarivic
Just need Ashlei in the pic but L-R Danica, Beaner, Lola, Stitch (!) Danielle and Marinette.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Don't try this at home

So, if you're ready for a fresh level of hell, attempt to (simultaneously):

Plan your 4 year-old's birthday party
Plan your cross-country trip to be there when your oldest daughter gives birth
Build up your PR business
Get clients to, y'know, pay you
Organize an impossible networking event
Make that 2
Wait, 3
Not spazz out about your karaoke company (and the accompanying karaoke contest finals TONIGHT)
Keep track of all your damn kids

Not posted:

work out
eat well

I'm just one person, after all.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Today's epiphany: Take care of the little stuff, already. It's not actually little (that shit matters) and even a moron can make a dent. So, today I'm going to be a moron.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Aug wha?

There are a host of real-life topics to get caught up on, but I felt the need to vent about a niggling little thing.

I am, for the most part, quite content with life. It would be great to have a little more work (and to be paid on time for my work) but I haven't pushed it. It's been nice to have a taste of summer, sleep in a bit even as I tap-tap-tap well into the night. It's a rhythm that suits me.

What doesn't suit me? Being asked to do more work on a commission-only basis. I haven't done that in, God, YEARS, and it feels too much the backward step. Especially when it's an area I have a proven track record in.

When I started down this path I never saw myself turning down work. It's probably silly as who couldn't use the money, right? Thing is, I do need the money and have the time to work and earn it. But that time invested is worth something; I have to make it worth something.

That is all.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Mem Day '09

Everyone (well, that lives here currently) is napping. I'm working. And thinking.

Danielle disowned me (her calling me "Marivic" was met with equal parts chuckling and cringing) but the safety nets continue to chide, "It's a phase. She'll get over it." I hope they're right, pretty sure they are. It sort of feels though, like bits of my heart just got texted to the nethers: return unknown.

Yes, text. Much of the "communication" (I use the term oh so damned loosely) between me and the twins has been via text. And for everything put out there, there's tenfold I hold back.

It hurts to hear about people hating your kids, conspiring to get them fired, thinking they're total *itches.

It hurts to not be called by your children on Mother's Day.

It's bittersweeet seeing Lola tromp around, knowing how the twins would normally have delighted in it.

Oh ok, on the upside: I'm enjoying seeing Ashlei come into her own with her business prep and oh RIGHT, her pregnancy. (Note to self: actually plan baby shower already, right?) I miss Beaner but the peace it brings me knowing DAYAM she's fine is priceless. Truly.

Marinette and I have the occasional quibble but we've been remarkably compatible. Go us. Go sisters.

I see Jeff trying and striving and how the hell he puts up with me sometimes I don't know. Even as Lola pushes every button evolutionary possible at age 3, he's a patient and loving dad. And when she's angeldolllbaby holding daddy's hand as they sprint to the ice cream truck, well, a truer love there never was.

I'm going to choose to remember Memorial Day '09 for what it was: mostly all love, with heartache to process.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


Danica stopped by with a gift certificate to Frugal Muse for Lola, "I just wanted to do something nice for her" and asking to spend some time with her.

Parenting is, hands down, the hardest, grittiest thing I know I will ever do with my life. For the joy and heartsong, there are times like this it's all about second-guessing, self-doubt and, yes, tears.

It doesn't get any easier once they turn 18. All it means is that your children's futures are upon them, and the real panic ensues.

Friday, April 3, 2009


Ashlei's news leaves a memory echo and absence of words. I felt my life lurch forward when Mama died, and here, now, it hitches again.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Got rhythm

The new rhythm of my days is exhausting and exhilarating at the same time.

Every waking moment is consumed by my obligations to the day job, while drumming up business for the new venture. Interestingly enough, the work I do to ramp up ValenciaPR is excellent practice for my client base. I'm using a super-basic CMS and need to integrate Twitter etc. It's do-able, but not necessarily pretty. I've decided NOT to upgrade to a fancier CMS in that I need to relate to the real-life, real-time challenges faced by my clients. So yah, a ton of work but I'm spending my rare Sunday afternoon in the house BY MYSELF on it so my heart's in it, clearly.

Jeff's been creating monstrous, wondrous forts for Lola in the living room. Today's version included a skylight (courtesy of strategically draped blankets) and the rest of the world just melts away as I hear them laughing and negotiating. These fools crack me up.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Came, went

Birthday was surprisingly great (turned into birthday week-end and then some). Learned something about myself, which is this: I suck at relaxing. Facials and massages are supposed to be just that, though, so I wasted the first part of the day just trying to chill already. Guess I'm not used to sitting still and letting my mind wander, etc. So, to counter-act this, I'm reading more lately. Focuses me away from/off the churn, if only for a bit.

Workout-wise, honestly hard to say. I've dropped a couple more pounds, but what I'm really noticing is that the workouts are visibly paying off, so I'm obsessing less about the scale. There's a perverse pleasure in being unspeakably sore, and yet showing up for more the next day.

Work-wise, countdown to April 30. I'm still rather bitter about the change in status (from employee to 1099) and of course SUCKS to lose the benefits, but am too busy ramping up the PR biz to really dwell on it. So very much to do...

Home-wise...mostly A+ (everyone's pitching in better) but my heartache with Danica catches me offguard at times. It was great to see Beaner at dinner last night ("I met a girl" - Beaner's so cute) and I wish Ashlei would call more but Danielle's been super helpful and funny and between her and Lola and Marinette I do sit at home and laugh my ass off at times.

The shows are...again, mostly doing well. I fear for the Friday night show, as the bartender at Dutch Mill is a complete wanker, but the rest of them are picking up steam.

This is a placeholder post, a reminder to myself of all the catching up yet to be done. Jeez.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

9 days

Stoopid birthday fast approaching, a week from Friday.

What this means is that I'm making myself take the stairs (at work and at the studio). It means I'm going to walk home, catching the bus only if I'm running too late to get all my crap done at home before leaving for the show.

It means for SURE making it to the 8am class, despite probably getting in around 1am tonight.

It means I'm back to Googling carbs and chugging my water and actually really pushing myself in my workouts.

I'm not going to pull off any miracles in the next 9 days, but I refuse to assess excuses and regrets. "37" is going to be enough of a bummer as it is.

In other news, new show Friday nights. That brings us to 4 weekly, and 1 bi-weekly. 18 shows a month. No wonder I'm flippin exhausted.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


So, if the scale is to be believed, I've lost 40 lbs. Being (horribly) sick was a slight hiccup, but the last few lbs. have (I think) been the result of hitting the gym.

Except, it's not a gym it's a 'studio' whatev, I go, sweat (sometimes it's hard, sometimes not so much) and leave feeling good. I'd forgotten how much I love taking that time for myself.

I (for real this time) now have the last 10 legit to lose. I'm probably fine stopping now, but for once I'd actually like to see how fit I can be (vs. being 'good enough' or 'not bad').

B-day's coming up in a couple weeks. Am hoping to be able to justify shopping.

In other news, broke it to work that an exit strategy may be in order. Radio silence since, but know this 'lull' can't last long. Something's gotta give, and I'm not signing the freelance disclosure stuff, nor am I foregoing my stake in cyberaoke. Doh.

More later, just wanted to plot this milestone. Am already working on the next one.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


This 'new responsibility' is ostensibly 'power'.

It feels like micro-management bourne of desperation.

I'm going to do it though, do my time-shifting shape-shifting what-now job.

Exhaust all efforts, assess. Act.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


It feels like we're all bathed in the sweeping patriotism of the collective at the moment.

'Tis nice.

BHO is POTUS. That's rockin' pretty hard right now.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My ties to Inaug09

That would be Beaner - the imp scored tix to the Inauguration of our 44th POTA.

I kind of almost want to cry just thinking about it. From the most rural of the Philippines to a daughter attending the inauguration...more later, much to process here.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Genghis was hungry

So, Lola had a little playdate last night. She and her new BFF, Jet (age: 5) spend the first few minutes alternately ignoring/screaching at each other, and then drift away in a lovely (LOUD) display of short people playing. Last night was no different.

Except..well, I guess Genghis (beta fish) looked peckish. Or something. Long story short? *Someone* decided to share their ice cream with the fish. Vanilla, to be exact.

Luckily Unca Buh cast a critical eye, recognized the carnage for what it was, and hastily set to rescue/revive the poor beta. Mission accomplished, one flippy fish present and accounted for.

I tried not to laugh.

I failed.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The challenge

Due to Jeff's company's economic crisis, I now face going 7 days on $200 for a household of...6. Just typing it out makes it crazy sounding, but it's actually an interesting experiment. One I wish I knew we were going to face, as I would have bought vodka.

Anyway, I think I'll chronicle the next 7 days, if only to ease the ache a bit. This shouldn't actually be that hard - we'll need some basics as we go along but the true test will be not going out to shoot pool or karaoke or drink (or all of the above). I can already see how spoiled we've become the past few years; granted we work our tails off, but we never, ever, truly 'go without'. And even this, this won't be going without things like heat, electricity, food, a roof over our heads; no, what we need to cut out needed to be trimmed already, so there's that.

I hope to grow from this. But I really do wish there were vodka in the house.